A Note from a Former Foster Youth as Mother’s Day Approaches
Several years ago, as a recently aged-out foster youth, I found myself at a Sunday picnic with friends from my church. The weather was finally warm and nothing felt more "normal" than to be outside soaking up the sun in community.
My weary heart was exhausted from masking everything I was facing. Aging out for me meant living in my car and filling the seemingly endless hours of my day with things that helped me to not lose hope. I was alone, vulnerable, and struggling to not be enticed by ending it all out of pure exhaustion.
I wanted so badly to share with them this growing despair in my heart. But I remember thinking how different my life was compared to theirs and how alone I truly was in this unique pain.
Before wrapping up a glorious few hours of fun and connections, one girl asked us to go in a circle and share what we were giving our moms for Mother’s Day. She needed ideas as her mom is so hard to shop for.
I instantly froze.
Then my heartbeat quickened to the intensity that I was sure they could hear it pounding through my chest. I wanted to disappear and find any excuse to be far away as possible the closer it got to my turn to share.
Friend, have you felt that before? Having the much-needed normal moments interrupted by the reminder of how messed up life really is for those like us who have aged out of the system?
Right before I fully panicked, the young lady next to me shared "Well.. it’s complicated. My mom is alive but we don’t talk anymore." This girl didn't shy away from her truth or lie to make the others more comfortable. I watched and participated in loving on her as she shared some of what she was facing. Her boldness and vulnerability made me feel the least alone I had been in years.
Friend, we heal in community, and I know it's messy and scary to a degree most will never understand, but I also promise that we are far less alone in our own "it's complicated" than you know.
You are worthy of being held space for in whatever this Mother’s Day looks like for you. I am praying that you will find yourself in opportunities to be more known this May and that peace and rest will find you in the healing. I am sending so much love and solidarity your way as you navigate this month. Be kind to yourself and know you are never truly alone.
Shared by
Kristen Thomas
Please take a moment to read these words that were written specifically for you by moms from across the country!
“Look at you darling, what a glorious person you are. Do not let any hard seasons keep you thinking it will last forever. There is so much beauty waiting for you."
–Connie from Canada (also a former foster youth)
"You are my heroes, every one of you. I hope you find soft spaces to land this year. Big hugs!"
–Miriam from South Carolina
"You have survived your best and hardest days. Please know that I am cheering you on!"
–Holly from Minnesota
“There is little in life that can stop you after all life has thrown at you. Lift up your head and keep going. You are never truly alone."
–Rebecca from North Carolina
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