“What is your Primal Question?” by Heather McWilliams
Do you wonder why you repeat unwanted behaviors?
Are you confused by your response to seemingly "small" events?
Would you like to better understand yourself and those you love?
I am 53 years old and I just recently learned something that I have found to be very helpful in all areas of my life! I wanted to share it with you guys in case it would help you too! Mike Foster is a counselor/coach based in San Diego. My husband and I spent a weekend at a retreat with Mike and a small group of people to dig into what he refers to as our "Primal Question". Mike spent 4 years, over 6000 hours of in person interviews, and 22 group workshops and labs to narrow it down to seven questions that we are subconsciously asking ourselves.
1. Am I safe?
2. Am I secure?
3. Am I loved?
4. Am I wanted?
5. Am I successful?
6. Am I good enough?
7. Do I have a purpose?
When we are young, all of our experiences and environment information that we take in eventually turns into our instinctual beliefs and behaviors. As adults, that 10 year old kid is still calling the shots. It doesn't help to blame anyone, an event, or a circumstance. We are here now and we choose how we move on from here. My older son's question is the same as mine. Of course I felt like a failure to learn that, but after getting past that, I realized I can help him navigate life through our shared Primal Question.
We each have our own Primal Question out of the seven, and how that question gets answered validates us with a "yes" or a "no" that sends us into what Mike calls our "scramble". We learn to protect ourselves and guard ourselves from getting that question answered with a "no".
The best part about knowing what your question is, is that you can ultimately turn that into your "superpower"! You are an expert at your question and you know how to help others with the same question – and get their question answered with a “yes”. Knowing my question and being able to understand why I may be responding the way I do at work or in relationships with friends or significant others helps me realize that most of the time, that person did not know they were answering my question with a “no” – and it is not personal, even though it may feel very deeply personal. In the video, I talk a bit about my Primal Question.
Once you understand what the seven questions are, you will find yourself realizing what the primal question is of others in your life. It will help you better communicate with them, validate them, and understand them.
Ready to put language to the hidden forces that drive you so that you can reclaim control and live in emotional freedom?
What is my Primal Question?
Take this quick assessment to learn your
Primal Question by clicking the link below.
Heather’s Primal Question Video
If you would like to understand your Primal Question and all of the questions better, you can get a copy of Mike's book, The Seven Primal Questions, on Amazon!
Shared by
Heather McWilliams
The McWilliams Group
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