Christa’s Story: Suicide Awareness
Hi, Dream Makers youth!
I'm privileged to be able to send a bit of my story to you. I have a long history of dealing with depression and anxiety and hope that my story might be an encouragement to you. There is ALWAYS a way through our dark times with the help of God and those close to us. There is always help on the other end of the phone or text. You are loved and my hope and prayer for you is that you will find your path to a full life of joy and faith. Blessings!
Shared by
Christa Kelso
Founder of Be Free Indeed
In 2013 on October 29th, I found myself at death’s door. Weary of the battle, exhausted from combatting the thoughts of death in my head, having been the lowest ever for more than seven months, I had resigned myself that God would forgive me if I were to sin, take over His job, and end my life.
What followed seems like a distant movie in someone else's experience.
I was talking to Jesus the whole time. It seemed as if I separated into two parts and the one talking to Jesus watched the other swallow a bottle of pills with a tumbler of bourbon. I wrote Monty and my 3 young adult sons a short note asking for forgiveness and telling them that I love them. I laid on my bed, Bible open to Psalm 23, knowing that my Jesus would walk me through the valley of the shadow of death. I could faintly hear my name being called in the distance but couldn't respond.
I didn’t want to die! I just didn’t know how to live anymore.
The next day, I woke up in ICU and slowly realized as the anesthesia wore off and the discomfort of being intubated sunk in, that I was ALIVE!
It's hard to describe the overwhelmingly sense of joy, gratitude, and love as Monty and the boys embraced me and we sobbed in each others arms, saved from the devastation of suicide.
They readily forgave me as I confessed my sins and our lives have truly changed forever. We never, ever, take each other for granted and realize the immense love and grace our Lord Jesus has for us.
Two years I spent in joyful days for the first time in decades. No more curse of depression, not even a bad day. Mind me, I had work to do. Months of counseling and inner healing sessions where Jesus took me to the wounded places in my soul to set me free with His healing touch.
Slowly, I started having thoughts of people who are hurting and developed a longing for others to find the same freedom.
The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.
Isaiah 61:1-3
This has been an excerpt from Christa’s story. To read her full story and to find ways of connecting with her, click the link below.
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